Time to Man Up

Although I am an ardent Barack Obama supporter, I remain unconvinced of his credentials in one vital area: If elected president, can he put forth a family relation (he has numerous half siblings) who will reliably commit gaffes that can be publicly chronicled.

When we have a new president, we have been conditioned to expect, besides “change,” that he will bring in the family nitwit trailing in his wake. This imbecile is designated to trade off the family name as a front man for, say, dubious land schemes.

Richard Nixon had his brother Donald who rubbed elbows with embezzlers and clinically insane plutocrats to get his greasy nickels and dimes. On the other side of the aisle, Jimmy Carter had his brother Billy who was reputed to read a book a day. Billy did more than just lead the contemplative life, though. He found the time to launch Billy Beer—widely reviled as the worst beer ever—and become a registered foreign agent for the Libyan government.

Hillary Clinton, setting aside for a moment her general odiousness these days and her pointed white hat, at least has established her bona fides in this area. She has her brother Hugh.

Hugh embraced his role as a de facto sibling during the Clinton administration and entered into a problematic hazelnut deal with the Republic of Georgia and lobbied strenuously and lucratively to obtain a pardon for a convicted drug trafficker in the waning days of Bill’s presidency.

At the end of day, I take consolation in Barack Obama’s large extended family. Although no one has emerged yet, I am confident that when Senator Obama becomes president, one of them will emerge as a shill for a trout farm in Turkmenistan.

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